Okay, let's just clear the air here, any game that combines fighting and exploration, any game that even slightly resembles Final Fight in the gameplay department NEEDS to be 2-player. There's no "buts," "ands," or "ifs" about it. Soul Fighter is a (*choke*) 1-player game. Why? I have no idea.

I just don't understand the logic behind this! It makes no flipping sense! "Um, okay, let's uhm make a game that's like Golden Axe except in 3-D and make it look pretty and then after we do all that stuff, let's take out one of the best parts! The two player mode! We are STUPID!" Okay, they weren't that stupid. They did manage to name the game SOUL FIGHTER, which will sell the game on its own because the title faintly resembles SOUL CALIBUR.

The graphics and sound exemplify the lush presentation that the developers were obviously going for, but as I learned with Evolution not too long ago, graphics don't make the game. Oh yeah, neither does music... except for... ah, forget it.

The control, for instance, is awful. Moving about the environments is about as annoying and as tiresome as that in Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style... and you know what I said about that game. I had this dream once wherein I was stuck in this molasses that was covering the block that I lived on. And there was this homeless guy with tattoos on his face and... anyway, I found it devilishly difficult to achieve voluntary motion. That's how Soul Fighter makes me feel... like molasses. Executing attacks and combos is a feat in and of itself in this world where everything moves the speed of melting plastic.

I'd tell you about the story, but I think that would be nothing more than a big, fat waste of your time. Soul Fighter might (emphasis on might) be worth a rent just so you can stare at the marvelously constructed levels and enemies, but any more than that is just plain unhealthy.


Robert Cirkeljirque